Eating Disorders, Family Visits and the Holiday Season

 

Eating Disorders Today has a name change and a new location. 

Please visit Eating Disorder Recovery for Women at http://www.eatingdisorderrecovery.com.

 

         People with eating disorders or in early or mid recovery from eating disorders call for help more often during the holidays than any other time.

          If you are separated from family for any reason you feel bereft.  At the same time, if you are going to be with family, you can be flooded with anxiety.

          The eating disorder behaviors, too much or too little, purge via throwing up or exercise, are defenses against both real and perceived dangers.  Unfortunately, if you have an eating disorder you may not know the difference.  You feel vulnerable and actually are unable to take care of herself in many mild as well as severe stressful situations that arise in family gatherings.

Options are:

          1.         avoid the family gatherings.  consequence: feels lonely and abandoned.

          2.         attend the family gatherings. consequence: feels rage, fear and attempts to conntrol others.

          3.         act out your eating disorder, i.e. binge, purge, starve and behave as you are expected to behave complete with people pleasing at any cost:  consequence: are numb to people and stress around you, feel isolated among people, feel guilt, shame and lots of tension.

          4.         call for help and commit to recovery work.  consequence: provide yourself with support  encouragement and tools to withstand your stresses without acting out and develop health and strength so you no longer needs the eating disorder to cope with your life including her family relationships.

          The good news is that pain aroused during the holidays awaken you to the fact that your issues are not about your personality or will power.  Your pain can show you that you suffer from an illness and can motivate you to begin or recommit to your recovery work.