Eating Disorders Today

Eating Disorders and Body Appreciation

       What if we step away from body appreciation as an aesthetic consideration that relates to weight and appearance?

       An exercise or meditation to open up communication between mind, heart and body is this:
       1.      Let the mind relax with all the judgments.
       2.      Let the heart be free to love.
       3.      Let the body be and discover how your body feels when it is appreciated.

       Give yourself from a half hour to an hour for this exercise.  Slowly walk around a large room or garden or around the block.  Be sure you find a safe place to walk.

       Starting from the top of your head, let your awareness move through your body slowly. Thank you body as you go.

       For example:

       Thank you, skull, for protecting my brains so I can function in this world.
       Thank you brains for allowing me to think and for keeping my body working.
       Thank you eyes for letting me see as much as I can of this world.

       Move through your entire body, covering your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, chest, back, spine, ribs, abdomen, stomach, genitals, legs, ankles, feet, toes,   Thank each part of your body for the work it does, and be specific about recognizing that work.

       If you do this on a regular basis you can go deeper.  You can thank specific organs, veins and nervous system. 

       You can thank your immune system for protecting you.  You can thank the mysterious and wonderful ability your body has for healing, for cell regrowth. You can thank your skin, the largest organ of all, for protecting you and providing you with sensations that warn you, sensations that bring you pleasure and sensations that connect you to other people.

       If you continue to do this exercise, over time you might feel that you want to do more than say thank you.  You might want to help your body with love and kindness to carry on all the taks that allow you to live in this world.

       This has little or nothing to do with weight or physical beauty.  It has everything to do with appreciation, health and love.

       Of course, some might believe that appreciation, health and love create beauty in this world.

       I do. 

       Do you?

Perspectives on Eating Disorder Recovery and Relapse

       A thirty-three year old man wrote to me saying he had been a binge eater most of his life and now was fully recovered because food has been a non issue for two years.

       Of course, I am glad he is happy with the strides he has made in his life.  But his post got me to thinking.

       I have been working since 1980 with people who have and who have had eating disorders.  I don't know what people mean by "fully recovered." 

       While it is possible that people can have two years or more of being in a state where food is a "non-issue" that doesn't necessarily mean they are "fully recovered."  By the same token, someone who has not binged or purged for some time and then begins again may actually be signaling growth rather than relapse (although, of course relapse is possible too.)

       As I see it, people develop eating disorders as a way of coping with what they cannot bear.  The people committed to getting well work in psychotherapy, 12 step programs, spiritual programs, nurture their creativity and gain education and skills necessary for them to function as they choose in this world.  As part of this life long process they feel their emotions, recognize and bond with trustworthy people, and develop a sense of self worth.  As they develop they learn and discover how to address their inner and outer life situations without the eating disorder.

       However, as they age, develop, mature, take on new challenges, are confronted with life's strong pleasant and unpleasant surprises, aspects of the eating disorder may return.  If it's not a relapse, (meaning collapse and surrender) it can be a signal that a new strength needs to be developed or that the person is overstretching his capabilities and needs to pace himself. 

       The eating disorder, a tried and true mechanism developed to a person survive, returns to some people not as an enemy but as a guide to teach the person about how they are feeling or not feeling.  The teaching occurs in a language the person understands perhaps better than any other.  TThis is the language of the eating disorder, which for many has been a life long companion.

       In my opinion the "recovered" person, is consciously aware of his or her liaison with the eating disorder.  It's as if the eating disorder were some kind of sleeping general or police force who, when the person takes on more than they can bear, rises up to alert, protect and defend the person using the old eating disorder methods.  This gets the person's attention dramatically.  The "recovered" person recognizes the return of the eating disorder urges or actual behavior as a signal to pay attention to something that is out of conscious awareness. 

       Past recovery work allows the person to reevaluate what's going on in his/her life knowing now that something is being denied. He or she can then do more inner work so they can be fully present for their experience without needing the numbing protection of the eating disorder.

       There can be gaps of five, ten even twenty years of no acting out and then the old faithful protector emerges to wake up a person who is involved in more than she/he can bear and doesn't know it.  The eating disorder lets them know it.  It can last for only a few days and be of tremendous value.

       I would not like people who have occasional psychological informative incidents of their eating disorder symptoms thinking they have lost their recovery.  Nor would I like people who have no symptoms for two years to think that their disorder is over.

       No one knows what challenges life will present in the future.  I doubt that any of us are fully equipped to deal with what the future will reveal.  We all need to keep learning and growing
to survive and thrive in this life.  And we all have signals that let us know we need to learn and grow beyond our current limitations.

       A return of eating disorder urges is one kind of signal that more growth and learning is required.The more recovery work the person has done the more capable he or she is of continuing the recovery work when those inevitable life challenges emerge. Those urges can help open a blind eye or a dulled psyche to a new challenging reality and help a person continue to live a full life.

       What are your perspectives on recovery and relapse?

       Joanna Poppink, MFT, psychotherapist eating disorder specialist, Los Angeles, CA bulimia, anorexia, compulsive overeating recovery, www.poppink.com

Recent Flurry of Blog Posts Regarding Family Dinner Research

Love is left out of the eating disorder prevention equation yet again.

       Eating disorder prevention does not mean following a check list of correct
behaviors at the dinner table.  It means behaving reasonably  and practically with
a powerful undertone of love, respect, a glad willingness to listen, honesty
confidence to passionately disagree and deep certainty that right or
wrong everyone in the family loves and will stand by everyone else.

       When that is brought to daily life in a family, including family
dinners, eating disorders don't have a chance to develop.

       Researchers have a tough time factoring love in their studies. I can
appreciate the difficulty.  I also am dismayed by research results
that do not consider the presence or absence of genuine love and
respect.

  Researchers say..."what happens at that table has an impact on teens
as well. Juggling schedules to make time for eating together,
creating healthy, nutritious dishes, and having positive interactions
at the table are all components of healthy family meals."
http://www.thatsfit.com/2008/01/14/family-meals-help-girls-avoid-eating-disorders/

       Yes, these are components. Please include love and respect, spacious
time, generous listening, appreciations of differences, honesty and room for laughter
and shared passions.

       Now we're talking about family meals that help prevent eating disorders.

Joanna Poppink, MFT, psychotherapist eating disorder specialist, Los Angeles, CA bulimia, anorexia, compulsive overeating recovery, www.poppink.com

What a Healthy Relationship with Food Looks Like - a lesson from children

            Two little girls, sisters, 5 and 7 years old, were spending the afternoon with me in my home.  We are great friends.

            We had been painting in my studio and running in the grass counting Buddhas (I have a lot of Buddhas in my garden).

            Suddenly the five year old announced, "I'm hungry!"
      
            The more demure seven year old gave her sister a look that said, not so loud and impolite, please while she looked at me and nodded, "Me, too."

      I said, "Well, let's go look in the refrigerator and see what I've got."

      They both grinned and ran into the house.  The content of other people's refrigerators is fascinating to children.

     We found a kind of apple they had never tasted, a fuji.  Five said "no.".  Seven said, "Try it.  It might be good."

     I peeled the apple.  This was a task so totally expected and assumed that no verbal request was given.  Five wordlessly handed me the apple with a most effective facial expression and automatic gesture that clearly informed me of my job.

     They decided the apple was good.  We also found some cottage cheese and carrots. So we peeled the carrots. I sliced the apple. We dished out the cottage cheese and sat in the dining room for lunch.

      I put on some Mozart because we had been discussing the theory that listening to Mozart made children smarter.

      The girls ate with gusto and no talking.  Then they started talking a little as they ate more slowly.  Then they talked even more and ate less.  At one point the seven year old described how she felt listening to the music and wondered if she were getting smarter. 

      She then got up and danced.  The five year old joined her.  The remaining food on the table was forgotten as the girls leped and jumped to Mozart's music.

      My experience?  My imagery saw each child with a transparent fuel tank on her chest. When the fuel tank was empty they immediately felt hunger and knew it.  The thought of food was exciting. Looking at the food, making decisions about it, preparing it was thrilling.  Eating it was glorious. 

      As the gauge on the fuel tank registered an increase, their eating slowed.  By the time the tank was full they had lost complete interest in the food.  Not only that, but the burning fuel released energy to their minds and bodies and that energy turned into joyous dance.

      I smiled at my cavorting little friends, thinking, This is what the absence of an eating disorder looks like.  This is what a healthy relationship with food looks like.

Joanna Poppink, MFT, psychotherapist eating disorder specialist, Los Angeles, CA bulimia, anorexia, compulsive overeating recovery, www.poppink.com