Mothers with eating disorders

       Women with eating disorders can be mothers.  Some come to my practice

because they want to heal for the sake of their children.  They do not want

their children to have eating disorders or suffer because their mother

is ill. 


       These often are women who could not rally themselves to put their own

well being first and get help earlier.  Maternal love pushes them to be stronger

and more courageous and determined than they dreamed possible. They

seek recovery for the sake of their children.


       At a garden party last week end where most of the guests were new parents

I heard one mother voice concerns I hadn't considered. I felt startled and humbled

by my own thinking deficit. She spoke to me about a situation I am not likely to

see in my practice.


       Her child is three years old. One of her child's best friends from school is being

raised by a mother with an obvious eating disorder. That three year old child is

concerned about carbohydrates and about getting fat.


       The mother I was speaking with didn't t want that influence on her three year old

daughter and was struggling with the idea of breaking up the friendship between these

children. She is probably going to put an end to play-dates with the child from the

eating disorder situation.


       I can appreciate the mother's concerns for her child.  Eating disorder thinking

and behaviors are beginning in children at increasingly younger ages. 


      My hunch is that the mother with the eating disorder would be horrified to learn

that her illness is apparent and already having a powerful effect on her young daughter's

emotions, thinking, behavior and social relationships.

Joanna Poppink, MFT, psychotherapist eating disorder specialist, Los Angeles, CA

bulimia, anorexia, compulsive overeating recovery:  www.poppink.com