Early Inspiration in Eating Disorder Recovery

     Eating Disorders define a person's life. An eating disorder requires

intelligence, strategy, commitment, endurance, strength, organization

and secrecy, money, acting skills, ability to influence, persuade and

manipulate others repeatedly. I'll go Into more requirements to sustain

an eating disorder in another post.


       An inspiring question that often helps an individual get on

her healing path is this:

     "If I used all the time, energy, skills, strategizing, intellectual and

emotional involvement I devote to my eating disorder to something else,

what could I do in life?"


      This is often a staggering question, and people are shocked by

the answer that occurs to them. Answers come in many forms, usually in a

low murmuring voice with a hand over the mouth where I can barely hear

and actually need to ask for repetition.


               "I could run five fortune 500 companies."

               "I could make a wonderful impact on the whole world."

               "I could go back to school and finish my PhD."
                or law degree, or medical degree etc.).

               "I could get out of this horrible relationship and
                support myself and my children."

               "I could write my book....make my film.....design
                my clothes.....start and run my business.....
                create a school....."

               "I could be free to find out what I really could do."


               You get the idea. Vast options suddenly open to a person

who has been living a limited life controlled by all that an eating

disorder involves.


       And maybe those possibilities are real. The point is that when a

person genuinely looks at everything she does, thinks, feels, says in

a day that involves her eating  disorder and then thinks about what she

could do what that energy and those skills if she were free she gets a

glimpse of a new world.


               She knows she could have useful and meaningful power in the

world if she were free. 


       She doesn't know what she would do or how, but she gets an

emotional and physical sensation of freedom, just for a moment. 

She gets a sense of what might be possible if all her resources could

be channeled toward something that would make her life worth living.


       Sometimes people ask that question of themselves, and the revelation

leads them to psychotherapy. Sometimes people need to be asked.


       When I bring that question to people with an eating disorder I see

faces change.  Eyes fill with tears. Voices quaver, so afraid to speak what

seems too good to be true  A feeling of bewilderment and hope permeates

the room.  This momentous shift in awareness and sense of possibility

always touches my heart.


       It's a long road between that moment and full recovery, but  that

moment of awakening can be the start of a deep and rich healing journey.



    

Joanna Poppink, MFT, psychotherapist eating disorder specialist, Los Angeles, CA

bulimia, anorexia, compulsive overeating recovery:  www.poppink.com